Help for Parents Coping with Divorce, Adoption, Teenager and Relationship Issues

Is “Families That Play Together” a new concept for you?  Do You have Fun with your Family?  If not, begin today! 

Are you tired of family fights?  Quit lecturing and start playing!  Realize that Family Fun doesn’t happen overnight.  If you are out of the habit of playing, giggling, friendly competing, start slow and expect some bumps.  Remember your goal:  “Families That Play Together, Stay Together.” 

In our stressed out daily lives, it’s easy to forget how to play.  Families can improve their relationships when they start playing games and romp around in the house or outside together.  When is the last time you laughed until you cried?  Well, that’s too long!  I’m there, I do understand.  Be patient, Family Fun is not an instant occurrence.  At first, I had to force the chuckles.  My cat and dog helped, with their morning chases and posing for pleasurable romps.  Watch your kids and pets, they know how to play!! 

If we don’t use our sense of humor, we lose it.  Learn to look for the funny…there are things to laugh about all around us.  When you drop something, see the funny in it.  The other day, I got 6 eggs out of the refrigerator and dropped three of them.  I fought losing those eggs all the way to the floor, and one or two were smashed right in my hands as I grabbed for them.  The dog was ready to help lap up the mess and I stood there dripping.  I decided to make an egg facial out of it, and even put some in my hair, and then went for the shower.   Why not?

A few years back, I would have muttered and cussed about it…but I’ve been working on reducing stress and it involves a steady and consistent attitude adjustment.  “Stuff” happens, we don’t control our universe. 

We”ll enjoy the journey when we learn to roll with the flow and laugh at the mishaps wherever possible.

On this site, I will occasionally put up products for family fun and enjoyment, or talk about a funny story.  Cool the tempers folks, and enjoy your day!  Come on, what can you laugh about today?

Drop back in and tell us what you’ve done to have fun with your family!

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From the Manufacturer
This double-sided mini desktop dart game combines the skill of dart throwing with the fine art of decision making; to go to lunch or play golf?; to call a meeting or call in sick?

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Marisue Says:  “Do you like to play Darts?  Did you even know there are tournaments, all the way up to World Championships??  If you’ve got a steady arm and good eye, this could be the game for you!  Read more!”

If  you’re nervous about the real deal, and if you had my aim you would be, try this: 

World Championship Darts 2009 on Wii gives you the opportunity to play darts with your family and friends without leaving any holes in the lounge wall! Using real-life player averages and incorporating player character traits, you can play against the top talent in the PDC Darts Tournaments.

You can match or beat their stamina, anticipate their strategies, hit the doubles and the triples, then go in for the kill and check out when they’re close to the wire! After playing for about an hour or so the game starts to give you the feel of the physics of darts, providing a more natural throwing experience, realistic collisions and bed bouncing sound effects sound effects

You can choose to play as or against a choice of 18 PDC players including Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor, Raymond van Barneveld

Raymond van Barneveld (born April 20 1967 in The Hague, Netherlands), nickname Barney and The Man, is a professional darts player. He is the current PDC World Darts Champion, UK Open Champion & the Las Vegas Desert Classic Champion. , James ‘The Machine’ Wade and Wayne ‘Hawaii 501′ Mardle or customise your own male or female professional darts characters.

In the game’s Tournament Mode you can play with up to eight friends, challenging each other for the top spot in the PDC Order of Merit

With player cam zoom-ins and Wii Remote vibration feedback for those all important 180s and check- outs, you’ll soon be feeling the oche heartbeat.

The game also showcases actual tournament locations and sets from the worldwide PDC circuit, while the atmosphere is enhanced by the darts’ signature tune “Chase the Sin” sung by the crowds, and commentary from TV’s voice of darts, Sid Waddell and scorer Russ Bray.

If you fancy yourself as a bit of an expert, try out the Practice Board and see how close you are to hitting the doubles and becoming a professional. But if the pressure of the worldwide tournament venues and crowds is too much, then retire to the cosy environment of the well-trodden local and play one of the 13 classic Party Games with the family.

The game is accessible for all the family, whatever ability and whatever age.

Add this to your family fun!

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Do you want to improve your bowling skills?  This simulation  is amazing!  The 3D simulation creates a bowling experience like none other for tutorial purposes and will really help you develop your skills. 

You will feel as though you have brought the bowling alley to your desktop with Cosmo Alley Bowling.  This fantastic 3D bowling simulation will create a realistic “at the bowling alley” feeling on your personal computer. 

You can even select the bowling ball color, weight and select your best bowling alley, a couple of clicks and you’re there!  The graphics are 3D and will take your breath away!  The soundtracks are fantastic, you’ll think you’re right in the bowling alley.  You will be in the middle of the action!  There’s nothing like having your own personal set of lanes, and your friends will enjoy this too!  

If you’re a bowling buff, this 3D Cosmo Alley Bowling will be the best thing you’ve enjoyed since the real deal.  Don’t let weather, or not having time to bowl keep you from having fun.  Shut in at home?  Start up the Game!

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Did you know that many bowling alleys are turning to restaurant, club type cuisine for attracting the crowd?  Read this story below, has bowling evolved or what?  I’d hate to see where the bowling ball goes after a couple of whiskey sours!!!

When Dan Hurd moved to San Diego four years ago from Chicago, where he tended bar at an uber-chic bowling alley and sports bar, he didn’t understand why the latest trend in kegler aesthetics hadn’t caught on here.

Maybe it’s because San Diego’s mild year-round climate doesn’t inspire indoor sports. After all, we have lost our professional ice hockey and basketball teams a few times.

But the East Village Tavern & Bowl that he and Richard Synnott co-founded in 2007 is a strike with downtown’s yuppies and empty nesters. It has 12 bowling lanes, 37 flat-screen TVs, a dining room that accommodates 140, a bar that seats 30, and a patio in 15,000 square feet.

“The lanes are full just about every night,” Hurd said. To their surprise, the establishment has also become a popular spot for birthday parties and corporate events.

“We’ve had parties for 10 people, up to 300,” he said. “People are turning to us as something different.”

They spent $3.7 million to renovate and open the operation in four old, adjacent buildings formerly used as warehouses. The price tag included the Qubica AMF lanes that cost $42,000 each. Their effort earned an Alonzo Award from the Downtown San Diego Partnership, a nonprofit business organization. One criterion for the Alonzos is to rehabilitate a blighted area. But they did more than that; they added some glamour.

Hurd and Synnott got their feet wet in Southern California’s hospitality scene when they acquired the Gaslamp Tavern on Fifth Avenue and E Street in 2005. Including fix-ups, the cost to open it was $550,000. They also own the OC Tavern in San Clemente that opened in 2007.

Now they’re taking their bowling alley/restaurant concept to Eastlake, a community in Chula Vista, where they expect to lure a broader demographic than they draw at their downtown bowling operation.

Several restaurants and bars that cropped up there to accommodate the housing explosion closed their doors after the subprime lending debacle burst the bubble. But Hurd says he and his partner have kept an eye on the area and have noticed that more and more people are moving in now that home prices have dropped substantially from their peak, and there’s a niche in the market for family entertainment.

“We expect to have broad appeal,” he said. “We’ll draw the suit-and-tie crowd for lunch, and families with children and young people on the evenings and weekends.”

The $3.5 million, 16,000-square-foot EastLake Tavern & Bowl, scheduled to open to the public Sept. 10 on Showroom Place in the Eastlake Design District, has 10 lanes, a dining room that seats 170, a bar that seats 30, and a patio.

He credits local architect Derek Kitabayashi of the Kitabayashi Design Studio, who designed the project, for “repackaging an old favorite”–the great American bowling alley.

Send tourism and hospitality news to Connie Lewis via e-mail.” clewis@sdbj. com. She may also be reached at 858277-6359.

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Summer’s Near!  Let’s go swimming!  Your whole family and friends will enjoy the refreshing cool water and the fun of having your very own swimming pool.  Forget the hassles of digging, and the expense of putting the pool in the ground!  This great above-ground pool by Heritage keeps the installation of your pool simple!  The kit contains everything you will need to set up your own backyard refreshing island of comfort!  What family wouldn’t enjoy that! 

This fun family sized pool can be enjoyed all summer long, or even longer if you live where it’s warm for more than one season!  Invite your friends, and get ready to install.  The package includes everything you’ll need.  My advice is to read the easy to understand instructions, assemble the parts, get organized and you’ll be surprised how quickly this comes together.  Great motivation is knowing you can go for a cool swim when you’re done! 

Kit Includes: 

• a galvanized-steel wall and frame;
• molded-resin ladder for comfort;
• 3/4-hp plastic wall skimmer filter;
• heavy-duty vinyl liner;
• easy-to-follow installation video.

Adult supervision required. Made in USA. 4′ deep.

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Marisue Says:  “Temper tantrums are common, and annoying if you’re the parent or even if you’re the observer.  No one likes to  hear a child screaming and crying.  When kids are in the middle of a trantrum, they are not easily quieted and sometimes parents become so distraught and upset that they over-react and can discipline too severely.  Take a breath mom and dad, back away a few minutes.  Make sure your child is safe, not choking, and you concentrate on your own breathing.  When you’re calm, try to calm and reassure your child.  Avoid the temptation to add your screams to theirs.  Threats don’t work, and will only make the public scene worse.  Hold your child firmly and walk outside if possible, or at least away from where the tantrum started.  I hope the following tips and advice will be helpful for you. ”

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From time to time every toddler throws a temper tantrum, and it is always a good one. If you happen to have the nack for parenting you will be able to stop a temper tantrum almost as soon as it has started. Some parents attempt to stop the temper tantrum by giving in to anything that their child wants. But it is best to let the temper tantrum take its steps.

When a child is between the ages of two to five years old temper tantrums will start. Prior to putting a halt on temper tantrums you will first need to figure out why they have started. First and foremost you should keep in mind that your toddler might be hungry, toddlers eat less but more frequently then an adult. You need to show by telling them that temper tantrums are not productive. Also remember that when your toddler has many different options this allows them to feel as though they are in control preventing any temper tantrums.

If a temper tantrum erupts for no good reason it is best to ignore the child as much as possible, as long as they are not harming themselves or anybody around them. You may feel like a bad parent but this will make the child feel that they are not being productive. The next time that your toddler feels that there is a need for a temper tantrum it may not happen or it might be shorter. If you react to the temper tantrum by giving in every time your toddler will feel as though this is what they need to do to get what they want. You need to be the boss, not your child.

Temper tantrums can happen for just about any reason. The toddler may want the toy that you just took away or the one that they can”t get to. You tell them to not do something and punish them for continueing the bad behavior, they erupt into a temper tantrum. When these situations occur, just let it happen. A little bit of crying is not going to hurt you or them. When you give in is when the real problems are going to start.

Marisue Says:  “Planning for temper tantrums in advance can lessen the impact.  You know they’re going to happen.  Kids are often over-whelmed and just resort to screaming and sometimes getting physical.  Staying calm will help them realize whatever has made them mad is just not that “bad” and they can “get over it.”  If you add your fit to theirs, not only do you have an overload of drama, you’ve just modeled the very behavior you’re trying to talk them out of. 

Remember to “Distract, Diffuse, and Comfort.”  Deal with exactly what happened when everyone is calm and they are listening.”

I have seen parents pick up their child for everything. The child cries, they pick it up. Boy are they making a bad decision. I can say this because I watch my son and his wife do this all the time. I try to warn them, but what the heck do know. I only raised them and never gave into this type of behavior. But they continue to do it. They are going to pay the price later when the child is going to have the run of the house, because of what they are letting the child get away with today.

Over time your child’’s temper tantrums should stop. If not you and your child should see a doctor about your child’’s behaviour. There might be some medical reason why your child is acting this way.

Steve has been writing for several years on the internet on a variety of subject. My latest site http://www.505internetmarketing.com is internet consultant services, helping local businesses dominate their market by attracting new clients from the internet resulting in soaring revenues. Just click on the link to learn more about our internet consulting services Albuquerque Rio Rancho New Mexico

Marisue Says:  “When parents are coping with teens on drugs, their worst nightmare has come calling.  They need help emotionally and professionally and even at times financially.  If you find yourself in the halls of drug use hell, seek help.  When I find a really good article from another professional regarding teen drug use, I try to post it here with a few comments of my own.  I hope you find it helpful and will come back often.  You’re not alone, unless you choose to be.  Forget the embarassment, you’ll find many parents are exactly where you stand and they all lean on each other for help.”

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Although overall teen drug abuse and drug addiction rates are lower than they have been in past decades, the problem still represents a significant health crisis within the United States. Since few young people are able to break the cycle of drug addiction on their own, there is a strong need for teen drug rehab programs that speak to the unique needs of the age group.

Who Needs Teen Drug Treatment?

Any young person who is using drugs, and is unable to stop, despite an understanding of the damage it is causing them, should consider seeking professional help immediately. In addition, if the individual has seen their performance at school or work suffer as a result of drug and alcohol use, there is a strong chance that they have moved beyond the “social” element of partying with their friends and into a behavior that is far more compulsive and dangerous.

Why is Adolescent Drug Addiction Treatment so Important?

Studies have found that men and women go through some of their most important development stages ? mentally, physically and internally ? during their teen years. Vital processes such as reproductive organ development, liver health and heart strength can all be derailed during the teen years if the individual is abusing drugs and alcohol. Therefore, when an adult tells a teen that they are making decisions that can impact their entire lives, it actually IS the truth.

What are the Most Common Reasons Teens Enter Rehab?

The “popularity” of drugs among teenagers waxes and wanes with each decade, but currently are several substances that make up the lion’s share of treatment cases at teen drug rehab centers. These issues include:

• Vicodin addiction
• Heroin addiction
• Marijuana addiction
• OxyContin Addiction
• Alcohol addiction
• Cocaine addiction
• Crystal meth addiction

How Does Teen Drug Rehabilitation Help?

Qualified rehab programs help teens (and their families) break the cycle of addiction by addressing both the physical and psychological components of dependence. And although all programs are unique, there are three core processes that can be found at most teen drug rehab centers: detox, counseling and aftercare.

Detox helps the individual overcome their physical addiction to drugs. Detoxification has the individual ceasing the intake of drugs so that their body has time to cleanse itself of harmful toxins. Although this process can produce a number of uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms, the individual leaves in a state that is stable enough for them to continue on with the remainder of treatment.

Teen drug counseling is a backbone of any qualified addiction treatment program for adolescents. During counseling, the individual has a chance to talk openly and honestly about their condition ? and explore the root causes of their behavior. Counseling is a chance to learn the decision-making skills required to get sober and stay that way.

Aftercare programs help the individual prepare for life after treatment. For recovering teen addicts this may mean attending 12-step group meetings such as Narcotics Anonymous, or simply returning to the facility for follow-up individual and family counseling. Either way, aftercare helps provide the support and accountability many young people need to maintain their sobriety.

Marisue Says:  “After raising over 250 foster children, I can tell you that the majority of teens in our home came to us with a drug abuse history.  Many elementary aged kids had already been exposed to drugs.  This problems robs our children of their health and their youth and even their future.  Act now.  Take it seriously.  Take it to the professionals.”

Bill Burke is the author of this article on Teen drug rehab.
Find more information about Teen addiction treatmenttreatment here.

Marisue says:  Teaching children, or “allowing children” to tell the truth is a process.  Kids speak from feelings.  Feelings first, facts later.  In parents rush to get the truth, sometimes the kids are bull-dozed over.  Most of the time, when kids feel safe, they will tell what they feel happened.  It may or may not come close to the facts, but their words are still important.  Be patient, be kind, be non-threatening, mom and dad.  What would it take to get you to tell the truth?  What makes you lie?  Offer a gentle and understanding atmosphere, and gradually get to the facts by letting your child speak.  Stifle the threats or accusations, control your emotions, just listen and ask simple questions.

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At some point, every child lies. Lying has become a learned and ingrained part of humanity.

At some point, every child lies. Lying has become a learned and ingrained part of humanity. Adults lie all the time and many do it in front of their kids. They may rationalize the lying as political correctness, yet the essence is still the same. When your child starts telling tall tales your reaction to it will play a large part in how quickly they modify the behavior into one leaned more toward honesty than deceit.

Alfred Adler wrote, “a lie would have no sense unless the truth was felt to be dangerous.”

 When it comes to children, parents need to start thinking about this quote and how it applies to their child, family and relationships. Why is your child afraid to tell the truth, what sort of stimuli have they received from you in regard to the lie that makes the truth so frightening and most important have you ever given your child a reason to lie. Children perceive the actions and reactions of their parents much differently than parents do. While a parent may think they are imposing disciplining, demanding respect and manners, setting limits and boundaries children can often feel stifled by the rules with no real understanding of why they are important or why they are in place. Certainly, it isn’t a parent’s fault perse that a child lies but more than likely, something from their past experiences has led to the lie you are dealing with today.

The first step in dealing with lying is to allow your child time to talk themselves out of it. It is vital for children to develop feelings of accountability and learning what it feels like to do something wrong is one of the only ways this develops. Let them have their lie, assuming it isn’t hurting anyone and do your best to go along with it for the moment. As minutes, hours or days pass; begin questioning your child about the lie. If they swore they ate all their peas and you find them stashed under the couch, present the plate of green peas with some concern about how in the world they got there. Ask your child without accusing and try to give them the opportunity to come up with the truth. When they do, which they will at some point, applaud their honesty and try to make them realize that the truth is not all that bad and that certainly mom and dad aren’t as “ogreish” as they might have thought.

Just as parents need and want to trust their children, children need and want to trust their parents. Even with the truth when it’s ugly. Kids can learn that their wrongdoings will be made worse by lying about them and should be led to understand that lying is morally wrong and has far-reaching implications. Screaming, yelling and punishing initially may only cause your child to be more prone to lying because they are fearful of the consequences. Effective discipline actually helps curb a behavior issue, rather than simply swipe it under the rug and steal power from children.

The American Academy of Childhood Psychology notes that children are under a lot of pressure and that meeting the demands of family, teachers, schoolmates and others can be difficult for children. Young children under the age of six still have a difficult time deciphering the differences between fantasy and reality and much of their lying may actually be played out in the truths of the stories they tell. When they do this and you catch on, try to help your child’s fantasy character do the right thing and show them that lying is not the only answer. In older children, under the age of 12, lying is impulsive and usually a means to avoid discipline.

These children should have a firm grasp on reality by this point and the lying should be decoded and dealt with immediately. Even so, children should be allowed to come to the truth on their own terms and be able to accept punishment for what they did wrong. One mistake many parents make is as soon as the child tells the truth, they drop the punishment.

Following through on punishment is vital, especially in early adolescence and allows children to witness the fact that their actions have consequences.

Psychologists warn that children who lie extensively even in situations that do not offer an element of  “fear” may do so for attention. Often the stories that they tell get them more attention from adults and teachers than the ordinary truth would be. These traits can develop in pathological lying traits and should be dealt with by professionals.

When you have children, you know at some point that the little white lies of youth will begin to rear their ugly head. As children transition from a world where make believe and imagination are encouraged into one that is suddenly structured and seemingly unimaginative, lying may peak. Be patient with this behavior and understand that the lies may not be purposeful or intended even. Simply point out the differences between the truth and lies and ensure that your children feel safe and comfortable talking to you even when things go wrong.

 The younger you instill this feeling the better off you will be. Most importantly, set an example and try to be honest with your children and in your own life. Even if you are telling a vagrant you don’t have any change because you want to avoid the situation, remember that your children are watching you do that and they may not understand why it was okay for you to lie. In these instances, silence can be your best friend. Keep in mind, when it comes to children what they are not telling you, may be the biggest lie of all!

David Beart runs the Professors House. Our family based site covers everything from raising children to divorce advice, health and nutrition to pets and real estate.

Marisue Says:  We live in an angry society, and it seems impossible to shield our children from it.  Instead, we must teach them appropriate ways to be mad.  We show them by our example, and that speaks louder than anything we could ever say, yet we must speak about it as well.  Point out uncontrolled anger by others, and let them know it’s not right and is even harmful  so they will not just learn to accept or expect that kind of behavior from others or themselves.  Make healthy choices, and help them make them too.  Happiness is theirs for the taking. 

You’ll see my comments throughout the article. 

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Anger is a normal emotion that everyone feels sometimes Although anger is normal, the intensity of the emotion still worries parents

In truth, there is nothing wrong with feeling angry. It is the expression of that anger that can be problematic and cause problems in behavior.

Most of us have experienced the physical response of the body to anger. Children as well as adults feel the increase in heart rate, adrenaline rush, and feelings ranging from annoyance to extreme frustration, depending on the level of the anger. Parents can help children learn to manage these feelings and control how anger is expressed.

Marisue Comments:  Think about what kind of angry behavior your child witnesses and observes at home.  What are we doing when we get mad?  Kids immitate. Never forget that.

The goal in helping kids manage anger is not really to stop the feelings of anger because that is not going to be effective or even desirable. Think of it as helping your child recognize the feeling of anger in the body. When they are able to recognize these feelings, they can make changes in the behavior that results from anger, rather than lashing out.

It is important to note the difference between controlling the response to anger and suppressing the angry feelings. Avoid teaching your child to suppress anger because this can resurface later as aggressive behavior.

As in teaching manners and other skills, anger management can be taught by example. Consider a situation where the parent openly expresses anger by screaming at a spouse or children. What will happen when the children become angry with each other? They will often exhibit the behavior they witness in a parent.

Parents have the opportunity to teach anger management by example. It is OK to talk about your anger and how you are coping with these feelings. For example, explain why you are angry and let your kids see how you cope by taking a walk, bath or other calming activity. Also, show how you deal with the cause of the anger in a constructive way to help them learn effective techniques.

Keep in mind that the time to discuss anger and anger management techniques is not when your child is in a rage. They don’t even hear you and cannot process what you are telling them. It is like trying to reason with a toddler in the midst of a temper tantrum. It won?t work.

Wait until a quiet time and start talking. Show love for your child, and reserve judgment. If you are prone to anger, talk about that. Talk about how you work to deal with anger in a way that is not harmful or hurtful. Working together as a family on this problem will bring you closer together and bring your child further along the path to self discipline and control.

When in the middle of the situation, acknowledge their anger, but don’t accept the associated negative behaviors. Stop dangerous or harmful behavior. If the child is breaking things, throwing things, hitting others or fighting, it is time to intervene. A brief break from the situation and a few minutes alone can help bring the emotion back under control.

Follow your child’s lead. Does it help her to have you stroke her hair, acknowledge her feelings and gently remind her that she has the power to control her response? Or is she the type of person who needs to be alone for five or ten minutes and the feelings will subside? Do what works best for your child.

Introduce some ideas for relaxation or calming down. This will depend on the situation, personality and age of your child. Some like to go outside and jump on a trampoline or run around the yard and work off the adrenaline that has built up. Other things that may work include playing with a stress ball or koosh ball, playing with playdoh. Counting to ten, walking away and taking a bath can also help.

Marisue Comments:  Keeping children physically busy will help with anger control, however, take advantage of opportunities to explain how to manage the angry moment.  Short, brief modeling and verbal “back ups” are all it takes to make a lifetime difference.  Kids are watching and listening. 

Older kids may benefit from yoga, relaxation techniques, deep breathing or other anger management techniques often used by adults. Introduce these ideas and try them together at a time when your child is calm. Make some suggestions, follow their lead and work together to find a solution.

There are cases when children or teens repeatedly experience extreme anger and have related behavior problems. Situations such as this may require professional help. Anger management classes or counseling is effective for learning new stimulus-response patterns and recognizing and eliminating old patterns. Sometimes this is effective for older kids and teens and helps them learn to deal with their anger, and not carry anger and the habitual reactions into adulthood.

No child is the same and by trying different things you can find what works best for your son or daughter.

Marisue Comments: You can see that it’s much easier to deal with angry kids when they’re little, than waiting until their teens to decide they just might be out of control.  Once they’re teens, you’ve really got your work cut out for you.  Role modeling anger control is extremely important, and getting your teen professional help might be necessary.  Don’t procrastinate.  Handle anger problems when they occur. 

Looking for more information on parenting? More4kids is a resource for families and their children Mr. Heath is a writer and the chief editor at More4kids.info, a website devoted to parenting and families.

Marisue Says:  Sometimes I find another article from  parents and counselors that applies to our parenting discussions on this site.  I will make comments within the article and hope you find these tips about how to communicate with your teenager helpful.

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Teenagers can be difficult and can put lots of stress on a family. The important thing is to keep communication flowing and ensure that your relationship stays strong.

Communicating with your teenager might be frustrating. You might not know the best way to go about it or what strategies to try. It’’s important to remember that different things work for different families, so it is best to try different methods to see which one works for you.

Teenagers can be tricky. They are caught somewhere between being a kid and wanting to be an adult. However, with this age it can also bring defiantness, poor listening skills, impulsive behavior and decision making. Some teenagers run wild at this age; they may act out, not listen and seem to have no remorse or concern for their actions.

When teenagers are just doing minimal acting out, it is always advisable to have an open relationship with them. That means that you ensure there is time to talk and that you open yourself to it. Find periods of time during the day to bring up conversation. For example; making breakfast, or during dinner, find time to talk to your teenager. They may not tell you anything important, but just knowing that you are there to listen is a great first step to communicating.

Marisue comments:  Acting out is often a symptom that the teen is feeling they don’t have choices.  Think about where you can offer choices for your teen.  Can they stay overnight with a friend if they have check in times with you?  Can they have a friend over if you periodically and randomly drop in during their movie/internet activity?  Let them talk.  Listen, Give choices.  How can they help you say “yes”?  Let them know, and there’s nothing wrong with making deals.  That’s life.

Often the way adults approach teenagers can affect how the conversation is going to turn out. For example, if a parent is upset about something and storms into their teen’’s room and starts accusing them of something, they may get defensive and mad. That is because teenagers sometimes feel that the whole world is against them and that nobody understands them.

To make your teenager not feel like they”re up against a wall, you should find an alternate way to talk to them. This could include giving your teenager some respect; you could knock on their door, and give them the benefit of the doubt. That means that you”re going to go into the conversation with an open mind. When your teenager can see that you”re not accusing and that you”re just talking to them, they might open and up and tell the truth.

If teenagers are doing some serious acting out and they are out of control, often there is not much that you can really do. You are not happy with the choices they are making, but the best thing to do is stand back and let your teenager learn from their mistakes. Often times, parents will complain that their teenagers are doing things that they don”t like and in response to it, they yell, scream, argue and take things away.

The only problem with giving out harsh punishment to a teenager, who is acting out to the extreme, is that they will likely only rebel further and the relationship between parent and child might become damaged. Often it is best to stop accusing, blaming and giving out punishment. Keeping an open relationship with your teenager is the ultimate way to stay connected while you both go through the stage in his/her life.

Marisue Comments:  Think about all the ways you compromise throughout your day.  We all do it.  At work, with friends.  Talk about the “art of compromise” and teach them when, where, and how, AND, when NOT to compromise.

Try to remember that all teenagers go through that troubling teenaged time period. And while some teenagers may act out more than others, the important thing to remember is that the period of time is only short and temporary. That means that your teenage daughter will eventually become a wonderful human being again! If you can get through the short time period while keeping a good relationship going, then you will most likely not regret it in the future.

You can have access to articles about self help in Portuguese language from page Self_Help

Roberto Sedycias works as IT consultant for Polomercantil

Marisue says:  Are you struggling to cope with your disrespectful teen?  If so, I hope you will find this guest post helpful.  From time to time, I will place another article here that I have found written on topics involving everyday family challenges and hope you discover additional voices here helpful to you. 

Read these tips regarding disrespectful teens:

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“If you are the parent of a disrespectful teen and ”disrespectful” is putting it mildly, the first thing that you need to know is you are not alone!   As much as you think you have the most disrespectful teen alive, take comfort in the fact that there is probably one out there somewhere who is worse than yours.”

To help combat the rude behavior your disrespectful teen is exhibiting, as with any discipline, you must first set crystal clear expectations. There are some seemingly obvious behavioral expectations that all parents should have of their teens.

Respect Other People and Property

It sounds so simple, but if it were a natural behavior for a teen then we wouldn’t be here. Just as parents say that there isn’t a manual for raising kids, there is also not a manual for being a teenager. The way that you show a teen to respect other people and property is, of course, by example. It is important to model the behavior that we are asking of our teens. We need not provide excuses for disrespectful teen behavior but expectations of polite and respectful behavior.

Living up to “Teen Expectations”

Parents and society make it easy to excuse a disrespectful teen’s behavior by chalking it up to “just being a teenager.” That is the way teens are supposed to act, right? We have all heard parents, grandparents, teachers, and friends talk about their teen years and all the crazy things they did. While the stories make for a great laugh, we might want to stop and think about the message that we are sending to our children. In a teenager’s mind, if mom or dad did it while they were teens, then it should be ok for them too!

Behavior Dictates Privileges

We have to teach our disrespectful teens that as teens and as adults there are privileges that are afforded to those that earn it through positive behavior. One example might be car insurance rates. As an adult, if you obey the traffic laws, then you pay a lower rate to insure your vehicle. If you choose to take the risk and speed or break other traffic laws and get a ticket, then the insurance company will increase your premium. Teens have to understand that there are rules and laws that we all have to respect. Showing other people and our parents respect is practice for the real world. It is essential to put these years in perspective for our disrespectful teens.

Results=Expectations and Expectations=Results

If disrespectful teens are taught the importance of respect from the beginning it will become second nature as they enter adulthood. Parents have to realize that the results will equal the expectations. If you expect your teen to portray the so-called teen image then that will be your result. Why not expect more? With the new generation of teens expecting so much in the way of privileges and material possessions why aren’t the parents of teens expecting more in the way of their behavior?

Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today?s Teenager ? How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you”ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.